Spiritual Insight

Break Up To Marry

Purity and singleness have been, and will forever be issues. We don’t know what it means to truly be single. Don’t be in denial now. Most persons seem to always have someone they’re “talking to”,“linking” or “keeping around” while claiming singleness. Due to the need for companionship, or the fear of loneliness, people become like grasshoppers, hopping in and out of relationships without taking enough time to detach, & heal. That is, to break soul ties & to receive other forms of deliverance & healing. Also, out of the fear of commitment, many string persons along. It feels like you’re in a relationship, but it’s not defined so not really, and that’s good enough. Either way, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but you’re not single.

In “You’re Single Because You’re Not Single” I would have declared that many are yet to be married because they’re not truly single.

“You’re single in the flesh, but your spirit is still tied up with everyone you’ve even ‘been with’ in your past life.”

-Tamalcia J.

The reality is, many have spiritual wives and husbands. In fact, I believe intercourse is the true wedding ceremony. It is where two actually become one (Mark 10:8). In the Shakespearean Era, the bed of newlyweds after intercourse would be checked for blood to confirm that it happened. Only then would the marriage be considered official. While there are spiritual relationships, equally as weighty are emotional relationships.

So what does it really mean to be single?

A Facebook friend shared this 2 years ago & it forced me to introspect.

– Monique Yore

This punched me in the face so hard I got better vision. It helped! & it is still a point of reference.

Is that you, or are you truly single?

The best thing you can do for yourself is be honest. I accepted it, one of the best things I ever did. Which means this missing rib is in a good position to be found. I had to go through some break ups though. If you’re being led by God, you’ll be single until you break up. God understands the seriousness of marriage, and He will not open that door knowing you’re not ready. You first have to:

Break up with Spiritual Spouses

If you’ve lost the v-card, you have at least one soul tie to contend with. It also means a seed of lust was sown. Seek deliverance. Don’t go and call the church mothers now. You can do it yourself. You are P O W E R F U L ! See Uprooting Lust, Identifying Lust & Destroying Lust.

Break up with Emotional Spouses

This is where it gets harder because in our minds, everything is perfectly fine. Frankly, emotional relationships are more harmful than innocent. They WILL get physical. In fact, that’s how many adulterous relationships develop. It usually starts out simple. You text now and then, but you really enjoy the conversations so they become more frequent. Then the calls start, you find that you like this person. Before you know it, you’re video calling, photos are being sent too and BOOM you’re attached. But pssh you’re JUST friends, except s/he is your first good morning and last goodnight. You’re only friends, I get it! But you just have to talk to him/her every chance you get or you feel empty. That’s an emotional relationship, and it can lead to anything. Lunch, dinner, events together, a kiss here and there until, oops!

Sometimes it starts out with 2 people with mutual interest getting to know each other. However, in more cases than not, moderation and reason takes the backseat while the emotions take the wheel. Things begin to move all too quickly and the concept arrives before the definition, if it ever does.

Don’t be deceived. If you find that you’re falling into this trap, take a few steps back & guard your heart (Prov 4:23), or run! If this is already your situation, let it go. These relationships hardly ever make the transition. That is not God’s will for you.

Break up with the Obsession of Relationships

All some people talk about are relationships – what it will be like and what it won’t be like, what will happen and what will not. That’s their sole goal. They’re working really hard in church but only so that their reward will be a spouse. Every sister that comes into the church is bae, & every ‘ok-enough’ guy at convention is Boaz. They’re obsessed with the idea of a relationship and therefore are discontented in their singleness. These are the same people who use 1 Corinthians 7:9 out of context. Have you ever been fussing for something that someone is holding in front of you, refusing to hand it over until you relax? Some of us are in that position. God knows that if you enter marriage in that state, He’ll soon be a fading memory. After all, that is what you were working for.

Obsession has also caused many to speed into relationships and soon thereafter marriage, only to run off a cliff. They were going too fast to notice the sign that said “this road ends here.” It was in a singles’ seminar some years ago that my pastor said the formula is similar to that in the garden of Eden. Adam was taking care of God’s business & when God saw it fit, He gave him a spouse. Adam didn’t go bawling to God that he’s burning. He wasn’t obsessed with his future relationship. His conversations with God in the cool of the morning was not about Eve. He was fulfilling purpose! Seek your purpose before seeking a spouse. After all, ‘it’s better to wait long, than marry wrong.’

I know you want to marry, but change your strategy; shift your focus and you’ll get there faster. Break up with the spiritual & emotional spouses, let go off the idol, seek the Kingdom & watch all these things be added. Break up, to marry.



9 thoughts on “Break Up To Marry”

  1. All along I thought I was over someone and then it revvealed to me when they call. I was in shock and disbelief.. I became vulnerable.. Now Iwent on your page and only to see this post. Oh Jesus!!

  2. Wow!!! Loved this post and it’s been something that I’ve had to deal with myself. I sought approval and attention of men long before I became a Christian but sad to say, also long after that! I could not find satisfaction, love and happiness in God. It’s like He was never enough for me. A recent breakup finally opened my eyes to the destructive view I had of singleness. How could God, Our Creator, not be enough for me? How could I use the One who Loves me unconditionally as a means to get the shaky love of a man? Thank you for your brutal honesty. I hope this can be a wake up call for many!

  3. Wow wow. It seems as if God told u the thoughts going through my mind, thanks much for your answers.

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