Aren’t you just tired of being told everything about your problem except how to solve it? I mean, you spent 2 hours talking to someone about your issue, of course not because you like to tell of your struggles, but because you need a solution, and all they do is repeat what you told them in different words. How frustrating! But do not fear, Tami is here 😊. Let us first recap.
I recommend you read the 1st 2 pieces of this series before continuing with this one. No shortcut, quick fixes are temporary. Go through the process. “Uprooting Lust” went really loud on the talk about sexual immorality among Christians, and gave a mass of information about the issue. I was quick to endorse abstinence because “Ungodly sexual relations have many implications, some of which are soul ties, a corrupt mind, a pierced soul and being imprisoned by lust, reasons enough to stay away.” It is whatever sexual exposure, however small, that gives lust access to your soul. Its grip is firm and has caused many to give up due to frustration. The church will tell you what the bible says about your struggle but not practical ways to deal with it, and that’s what we really want to know.
The question presents itself, how can you go to battle not knowing your opponent? It is then foremost that we identify the issue. Yes, if we abstain from all sexual encounters we won’t have the issue to begin with, but since we didn’t and we’re now contending, what should we look for? “Identifying Lust” gave realistic situations in which lust is manifested. For example, if you refuse to take “puss ina bag”, insist on looking “sexy”, have a smutty mind, you have a lust issue.
The next question is “How do I get rid of this?” As expected, the Bible gives much advice on how to overcome sin.
1. Love God: John 14:15 “If you love me, you will keep all my commandments.” Loving God means avoiding anything that grieves Him: fornication, adultery etc.
2. Surrender: James 4:7 “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. In submission, the Lord leads your life, and He surely won’t lead you into premarital sex. The devil is a liar.
3. Eat the scroll: Psalm 119:9 “How can a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed thereto according to your word.”
4. Live in the Spirit: Galatians 5:16 “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.” The Holy Spirit, if you’re submitted & obedient will ensure that you’re holy.
5. Run! 1 Corinthians 6:18 “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.”
2 Timothy 2:22 “So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.”
6. Be on watch. 1 Peter 5:8 “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”
7. Don’t be worldly or carnal. Romans 12:2 “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is.”
8. Surround yourself with the right persons. 1 Corinthians 15:33 “Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”
9. Don’t stop trying. Galatians 6:9 “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”
10. Avoid. 1 Thessalonians 5:22 “Abstain from every form of evil.”
11. Pray. Hebrews 2:18 “Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.” Seek counsel from the best counsellor.
There are the good old bible verses and then there are other strategies that have been found to work.
1. Avoid being alone with someone you have urges for. If possible don’t be around the person at all.
2. Don’t be the cat that curiosity killed. If you find that you have urges for, for example oral sex don’t follow the trail, you will fall into the trap.
3. Cut talk time, whether it be text or actual talk on the phone, especially at nights when you’re in bed. Again, trap.
4. Watch the content of any conversation. If the slightest sexual content is mentioned, don’t indulge. I repeat, don’t indulge!
5. Be quick to dismiss wrong thoughts. The faster you throw it out the better. Remember, sin begins in the mind and if you dwell on these unholy thoughts, they will manifest. Therefore, avoid fantasies and visualizations, yes, even if it’s of your honeymoon.
6. Be keen with your behaviour. Girl, if you find that back arches when you see guys, make a conscious decision to stop and be consistent with this until it stops. You will ultimately bear self-control.
7. Say no! to yourself first, and then to whomever.
8. Don’t set yourself up. Be paranoid! Stay away from a situation where there’s even a 1% chance that you may fall.
9. Find accountability. Find someone to talk to and don’t let pride stop you. You’ll die on your own.
10. Guard your gates: eyes, ears, mouth. Watch what you listen/hear, see and say. Don’t listen ANY secular music. In the case of public transportation, walk with earphones, and listen your own music. Also, don’t be afraid to unfollow, block and delete that person on fb that’s always sharing sexual content.
11. PRAY! Seek deliverance by His Spirit. If you’re in any way comfortable, you won’t have any drive. Be tired! Be hungry! Be desperate!
It is indeed hard work, but it’s attainable. Be sure to be consistent in your pursuit to destroy and overcome lust to avoid starting over each time. Matthew 12:43-45 “When the unclean spirit has gone out of a person, it passes through waterless places seeking rest, but finds none. Then it says, ‘I will return to my house from which I came.’ And when it comes, it finds the house empty, swept, and put in order. Then it goes and brings with it seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they enter and dwell there, and the last state of that person is worse than the first…”
Although not all cases of deliverance is coughing up, the concept is the same. If you’ve started or completed the process and then stop or mess up again, the next time will be more difficult. Stay the course.
I hope this was helpful.
Regards, Tamalcia J.