Abstinence: Yay or Nay?
Can we just #BeRealForReal? I’m about to get really loud about something that we have been real hush hush about. The bible says in John 8:32 that the truth shall set you free and in Revelation 12:11 that we overcome by the word of our testimony. I know you’ve heard of the term abstinence, and the overdone “abstinence mek sense” campaign, but that’s not exactly where I’m going with this. I’m taking a spiritual stance to speak on the implications of fornication, adultery, masturbation, pornography (or any other sexual sin), the prison of lust and therefore why we must abstain. When Paul, in 1 Corinthians 6:18 said flee from sexual immorality, he was not hating on you, he was not trying to make your life lonely and boring, the devil is a liar. He was actually watching your back. What many of us don’t know, is that sex is more than what meets the eye. Prophetess Juanita Bynum in her renowned sermon, “No More Sheets,” said she believes people have heard enough bible stories and I’m going to reiterate by saying deliverance does not come through fictional stories and hypothetical situations, we need real stories, real solutions. People, myself included, don’t testify anymore due to pride but from henceforth, I refuse to allow my pride to hinder my deliverance and the breakthrough of another; sin thrives in darkness. Now more than ever, we should be sharing what we went through, and how we got through, because too many of us are walking around spiritually incarcerated!
Ungodly sexual relations have many implications, some of which are soul ties, a corrupt mind, a pierced soul and being imprisoned by lust, reasons enough to stay away. I’ve been saved going on 3 years and it has been great, but also the most challenging time of my life. Why? Sex. Whatever exposure I had, however small, did much damage to my soul. Each time one indulges in any sexual act, the soul is deeply wounded, almost like stabbing yourself repeatedly. Understand this, getting saved/water baptised renews your spirit, that’s the easy part. What many of us struggle with, is the process through which God repairs, remoulds and renews our souls, so we can fully step into purpose.
Sexual immorality can be thought of as the surrendering of one’s sexual purity and it refers to any sexual act outside of marriage and or that replaces or negates the sexual purpose of the spouse in a marriage. Lust is the root spirit, the gate keeper and arguably the strong man of sexual immorality. Thus, the initial indulgence in any sexual act immediately opens the door for lust in one’s life and it plants itself deep. Yes, when we repent and get saved, God puts our sins away from us as far as the East is from the West (Psalm 103:12), but the consequences, the damage done, will not just disappear. For that reason, the process is a long and sensitive one, sensitive in that if we aren’t submitted and cooperative, it will never end. I believe sexual sins are the hardest to rebound from and the bible explains why. 1 Corinthians 6:18 says every other sin committed is outside the body but when we are sexually immoral we damage ourselves. Proverbs 6:32-33 connotes also “he who commits adultery lacks sense, he who does destroys himself. He will get wounds…” our whole selves; soul, body and spirit is engulfed.
So after being exposed and taking on the mind of the world, to later become saved, the process of renewing one’s mind (Romans 12:2) is not easy. Lust goes deep and is difficult to uproot, especially without requisite knowledge. Before coming into my own struggle, I couldn’t understand how someone could get saved, and then go back. Now I do, and I’ve felt like giving up too. The truth is, they failed to handle or understand the renewal process. Due to constant falls and mistakes, it seemed logical to just give up. The mindset is “I’m trying so hard and I’m still messing up so might as well I just accept that this is my life.” Many have concluded that they just can’t be saved. The frustration is real and I can attest, but the devil is a liar. I used to love “whining” and I struggle with that to this day not just because I enjoy the act itself, but because of what the musical content stimulates in me. My pastor perfectly describes it as musical pornography. What makes it even more difficult, is the fact that I have enough experience to relate. Right now though, I’m tired! I’m tired of having flashbacks. I’m tired of thinking about what the honeymoon night will be like with every “potential” husband. I’m tired of having naughty thoughts and having to plead the blood, I’m tired of taking a simple statement as something sexual, I’m tired of being aroused by a single lyric, I’m tired of having to always bring my mind back. I’m fed up with the battles in my mind and I need to be freed like yesterday. For that reason, I’m seeking the way out by all means necessary. This wouldn’t have been so hard if I wasn’t exposed, if I had abstained; if my mind wasn’t open to what these things are talking about.
I know the word, I fast, I pray, I worship then why am I still not past this? I have many questions that aren’t being answered. But I’m not giving up because if God says purity is attainable then it is, I just haven’t figured out how yet. They’ll tell you that we must not be sexual immoral, but what do you do when it’s already your struggle? What do you do when you’re perpetually being faced with the consequences of that which you have done already? Don’t tell me to pray about it, I’ve been there, done that. I need practical solutions. I’ve heard about Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. I know I should present my body as a living sacrifice, what I need to know is how to. I know that I should be holy as He is holy, but how do I achieve that? I know that all that are sexually immoral with have their part in the lake of fire, but how do I escape that when my soul has already been so badly corrupt with worldly ideologies? How do I not give place to sexual sin ,when I’m hooked by a kiss? The bible gives the principle but what we need to learn is the application.
Many things in our lives could have been prevented, if only we took heed. What I’m saying to you is this, whether or not you’re a Christian, live by the bible and you’ll never go wrong. Abstain from ALL SEXUAL SINS and anything that will lead to it (eg, deep kissing.) The more invested you were in your sinful practices, the more lustful you’ll become; the more difficult the transition to righteousness. No sin goes unpunished, I may not have gotten pregnant or contracted an STI, but I have an infection of the mind, where the hardest battles are fought, and the most lost. Preserve yourself so that when you come to serve the Lord the renewal process won’t be so tedious. The sad part for us Christians is that many have accepted this as “just the way I am” or don’t even know how to recognize that something is wrong. Prophetess Bynum said, many times we see people in church, thinking they’re in the heights of worship when in fact they’re begging God to clear their mind of impure thoughts. Many others also have rushed into marriage thinking it would solve the problem but still end up in adultery, whether physicaly or emotionally. Before you can be delivered and set free, lust has to be uprooted, and that is what I will try for you and I, to offer practical solutions to. The quicker we stop trying to cover up everything and pretend like we have it all together, the quicker we will overcome.
Stay tuned for subsequent posts.
Regards, Tamalcia J.